Wednesday
March 29, 2000
Volume XXXI
Number 17
Medium Spoofs:
The Rutgers Review
The Daily Targum
The Caellian
Diversions
Black Voice
Medium Sections:
Online Personals
Online Extras
What's Shakin'
Rutgers is looking for athletes. And if you've seen our football team, you know by "athletes" we mean fat men incapable of catching/ throwing/ running/ thinking. Of course, we will foster your incompetence by modifying your transcript and replacing all failing grades with grades of B or better. We don't care if you can even spell Rutgers, with the degree you earn after your 10 seasons here without a win, you'll be making hundreds of thousands of dollars designing NASA equipment. Don't worry, we won't tell your employer you're dumber than dirt.