Erratic Disclosure
Pneumatic Ruptures of the Technological Invasion
(Disengaged Arms)
Bloated Spleen Figure Face
A New Kind of Android
(Bleached Shorts)

First off, in investigating and rating the quality of these two unfamiliar bands I’d like to state that because of their unfamiliarity they deserve the time and effort to be reviewed critically in great detail. These two bands portray a little something more interesting than your normal eclectic-cyber-rockabilly and that’s why I found myself spending days listening to them over and over again, between bouts of crying and masturbating, so that I might write this lengthy review. So let me begin by giving you a superfluous dose of thesaurus ridden adjectives by which to describe each tone and sound produced by these two bands.

The lubricated guitar sounds off the Erratic Disclosure LP, give you sort of a 70’s retro fuzz feel. This of course might remind you of that waste of a 7-inch “Gung-Hoes” by the Alter-Trenches, God didn’t that one just drip of post-punk-nihilistic-gloom-rock? Ha, ha boy I just slay myself. Anyway, back to those adjectives…the diminutively aggrandizing feel of the Erratic Disclosure’s LP will leave you a little dispelled and possibly even a little romanticized. Though at times it seems uninspired and “wickedly reminiscent of other bands like this one that have no actual ingenuity or creative element even though like the whole lot of these bands aspire to do so”, I recommend that we listen to it together (please let’s hang out and discuss our music interests with each other, please be my friend!!!).

So now we move on to “A New Kind of Android”, the unsurprising and yes sometimes boring album by Bloated Spleen Face Figure. Now all of us BSFF fans, old and new, are familiar with their unique blend of cosmo-jazz-funk-rock-techno as heard on their breakthrough album “Realizing How Stupid the People That Don’t Listen to Our Unique Blend of Indie-Rock Are”. This new release will not, if you will dare let me say it, be a “breakthrough”. In fact, much of it is just previous riffs ripped off from their hit album rehashed with some new beats here and there and some new fills a little further over there. I would love to tell you each and every phrase of music that is ripped off from their previous effort, but I have received too many threats…Still the music remains in a non-denominational genre because it is just a pastiche of other styles. So I, like you, should enjoy this album if we are to keep tooting our own horns about our own original, individualistic attitudes towards music.

I would go in to the specifics of every time change, syncopated rhythm pattern, type of audio sweetening used, and which parts were recorded on digital machines or the traditional reel-to-reel, but I have to go tend my shrine of unending compact discs, tapes, 7-inches, plexi-discs, zines, and LP’s. My master I am coming to serve you, my most glorified of all gods, my collection of audio. May you forever be unlimited and supreme in all things consequential in this earth. May time and space conform to your patronization! May the Rutgers Review forever waste paper to write inanely unnecessary reviews about organized sounds that go against generic unimaginative norms and conform to the non-popular unimaginative norms! May we forever submit to collections of audio to arrive at low-levels of complacency!